Sorry Y’all, but I will thank you in advance for being my therapist. I am trying to write factual and informing posts. I want as best as I can to show my/our frustrations.
A skill I have learned during the last 16 months is to control my reactions, and the reason this is such a necessity is that no one listens to emotion. You can be completely losing it..crying, frantic, freaking out, completely inconsolable and no one working in the justice system will show real concern.
People who have jobs that one would think would require them to have some compassion don’t have it. But really why would they? How hard would it be in your day-to-day life if you had a job dealing with crime victims and you were actually engaged to a point of feeling their pain. I am not saying that sarcastically either, I am being objective and sincere. If you had a job so closely related to people going through their darkest days and you let yourself get immersed in their grief it would eat you alive.
The problem with dealing with people who have these types of jobs is we aren’t on an even playing field with them. They know how to deal with us and we didn’t get a playbook. Beyond that we don’t even realize that there is a game going on, some of us figure it out around half time, and others they have no clue what just happened..
This treatment and the entire process brings out an anger in you that you never knew existed. To get that anger out you have to take charge and stick up for yourself. You have to become a force, it’s fight or flight. Some of us get in fight mode, and some wear blinders. Some of us write letters to the judge, and some think the fighters have lost their mind and need a long vacation.
I don’t care what anyone thinks, I do however care about my loved ones feelings, so I sometimes attack on the down low.